I got all upset this morning. About a bundle of silly things. Firstly an outrageous case of constipation brought on by ten days of drinking a prescribed codeine linctus (what a nasty word) to stop me coughing the roof off the house during the night. Constipation. Never a nice subject. But that started the day off on the back foot. Then a bunch of old friends who all want to go on holiday together are keen on a place in Malaysia, which is totally beyond our means. So I found myself upset by this for silly reasons… so I was upset and constipated all at once! Now that is a real blow to one’s morning!
And then I saw some selfies on FB (a pet puke) and I almost unfriended a couple of folk but I got my period again for the millionth time this year (see previous post about the Mirena situation) and saw some sense and realised I was totally overreacting to pretty much everything. Then it took forty-five minutes to get the kids out of the house and I found myself losing my cool and failing to summons the strength to suppress the imminent explosion. And then there were no parks on the high street when I wanted to drop off some huge bags of perfectly decent hand-me-downs to the Salvos. Right out the front there was a half hour loading bay with no mention of commercial vehicles so I parked, grabbed the bags, left the kids in the car, bolted in to the Salvos with the bags, bolted back outside again to find a parking attendant calmly printing out a parking ticket and pinning it to my windshield. I begged. I pleaded. I explained the entire affair. He said he could not reverse the infringement notice now that it had been issued. I burst into tears and dashed into the car. The kids had seen it all. Maple looked so upset for me and looked a little teary so I tried to pull my stupid self together. The parking attendant knocked on my window and issued a surprisingly heartfelt apology and said that he was sorry for ruining my morning and encouraged me to appeal the penalty notice. I tearfully nodded and found myself thanking him. I had some shopping to do, so I found us a legitimate park and brought the kids into the chemist with me for nappies, wipes, codeine-free cough syrup, toothpaste and lots of other terribly exciting things. My kids just behaved like kids but I felt my tolerance levels dwindle and every little thing got on my nerves. We got in the car and the small ones started squabbling over the toothpaste and Zephy dropped his ball under the front passenger seat for the fiftieth time that morning, hollering for me to retrieve it for him and Maple was whining ad nauseam about one thing or another and so I got cross and said that we were going home rather than to the park (which I had promised them). Maple became teary and said “mummy please don’t be so cross” and I had a moment of absolute self-mortification…is that a thing? The spell-checker hasn’t hauled me up on it so I’m having it. I pulled the car over and I got in the back with the kids. I grabbed my beautiful daughter out of her chair and I hugged her like there was no tomorrow and I explained to her that my silly and truly unimportant upsets had caused me to lose perspective and that my being cross with her and Zephy was actually me being frustrated with myself and other silly things and that I owed her a huge apology. She got it.
We went to the park. We hugged and laughed a lot. The rest of it disappeared and got relegated into the box of “things that don’t matter” and I breathed in my children and how spectacularly wonderful they are…feisty, hilarious, creative wee energy balls. I rang my fella and confessed to the parking fine and told him how beautiful our children are…like he needed telling. And we assured each other of the fact that we have something very special here, the four of us. We are so very lucky. The focus should be on nurturing and appreciating this and not letting tedious side-issues impact on my relationship with my children who don’t give a frog’s cloaca about any of it anyway.
I’ve written an appeal to the Stonnington City Council. I imagine nothing will come of it. But when you have these bundles of love….hmff!